The Ruby Girls

Millie, a twelve year old girl with long black straight hair, more than any thing wanted a Ruby. If only she had one, then lonely, angry Millie could join the Ruby Girls. Unfortunately,her mum refused to buy her one.

11 thoughts on “The Ruby Girls

  1. Super choice of adjectives such as lonely and angry.
    To improve, perhaps you could of added a drop in clause such as Unfortunately, her mum, who was ageing quickly, refused to buy her one.

    So amazing girl!

  2. Aaliah I love the way it flows but you should ad a drop in ing clause such as she kept begging but mum would not by her one

  3. Aaliyah I love your story but you could improve by putting a few drop in clauses such as unfortunately, her beautifully ugly mum refused to buy her one.

  4. Good choice of adjectives such as long black straight hair
    Try to use some proper nouns for a place such as Thatcham and London

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